Ellen's Articles

Perception is everything.  The way we perceive things may dictate the way we react to a situation or a comment or even an environment.  It may not be correct and it may be a complete misunderstanding of the situation, comment or environment, but it is what it is.
So let’s take New Jersey.  How do outsiders perceive New Jersey?  Well, if you go by the TV show, The Jersey Shore, we’re all a bunch of drunken, loud, losers.  If you go by driving down the turnpike passing through Elizabeth, we’re an overcrowded, fume filled community.  But what is the truth?  There’s a modicum of truth to both statements above, but let me tell you what I see…

When I drive to work, I pass by a farm of cows.  That’s right, cows.  I live 5 minutes away from Lee’s Turkey Farm where there are acres of peach, nectarine and apple trees, fields of strawberries, peas, corn, carrots ripe for the picking (when in season) and live turkey’s gobbling away.  I also pass by a sheep farm on the way to work.  Yup, sheep.  On occasion, a sheep or two will escape and I will see them meandering down the road.  Last week, the traffic stopped as a police officer and two civilians were “herding” the sheep back into their pen or corral or whatever you call a place where sheep live. Often on my drive home and certainly where I live, there are deer on the road.  Heck, I live across the street from Mercer County Park… the deer live on my lawn, and eat my plants and shrubs.  I won’t go out barefoot to let my toes twinkle in the grass because I’m not fond of deer poop.

So, that’s a large part of New Jersey too.  The part that many people, especially not of New Jersey, aren’t aware of.

In speaking of perception, what is your perception of EBJC?  Is it based upon a deep involvement and knowledge of the leadership and clergy?  Is it based upon coming to services every week and davening at Minyan?  Is it based on coming only to High Holy Day services and nothing else?  Is it based upon coming to social events? Or, if you’re not a member, is it based on hearsay and rumor? Or is it based upon things that happened 10 years ago? I would imagine if you poll 50 people, you’ll get quite a few different responses as to what EBJC is and/or isn’t. And they all would not be wrong completely because depending upon your level of involvement, you perceive things differently.

First, I understand that I am a newcomer to EBJC.  I’m here only a bit over 3 years.  That makes me a neophyte, an infant, and in the beginning… an interloper. Yes, it’s a strong word, but not everyone wanted me here or saw the need for an Executive Director.  I really hope that has changed and I’m guessing since you are all fairly nice to me, that it has changed.  But the job that I have is difficult because everyone perceives it differently. Am I an executive secretary (sort of)?  An office manager (yup)? What are my responsibilities? Does the buck stop with me (sometimes)? Am I the chief operating officer (you betcha)? Am I responsible for financials (gulp, yes)? Am I human resources (often, yes)? I guess I could go on, but you get the picture.  The truth is, I’m sort of the equivalent of the chief operating officer of a large company.  I oversee almost everything but cannot possibly physically do it all. So I understand it when members come to me to ask me to do things that realistically, is not really my job, but they figure I’ll know who to give it to. I hope that if I ask you to please give it to Cheryl, Stefani or someone else to do, you won’t get annoyed and think I’m shirking my responsibilities.  I’m not. It’s just that the amount of responsibilities I have can sometimes be overwhelming and I absolutely must delegate.  It’s either that or I take one of the rooms in the rug wing and turn it into a bedroom!

So…perception…the good thing is that perceptions can change.  The bad thing is that until they’re changed, it can be damaging or hurtful or painful.  I’m trying to do some introspective work on my perceptions.  Never hurts to be open minded.  Try this with your EBJC perceptions…especially those negative ones.  You may be quite pleasantly surprised.

May you all be well,

Ellen